Thursday, June 11, 2009

Learning the Ropes

As I delve further into the world that will soon be earning me the big bucks (fingers and toes crossed!!) I am learning that there is jargon I never dreamed of. I recently spent a whole day (which has turned into several days) emailing and calling farms across the nation searching for our produce match made in heaven. So far the farm refuses to be found... It's much like the search for the perfect man.

Anyway, back to produce jargon. A phone call with a farm went something like this...

Farm Sales Rep.: "Would you be needing a full load volume?"
Me: (Not wanting to let on that I am a novice and have no idea how much a full load volume is...) "Well, I would be requiring about 500 pounds a day."
Farm Sales Rep.: "Ok. That is a lot smaller than 40,000 pounds. 40,000 pounds is about 300-400 boxes. Now you would be needing something closer to 10 boxes a day. Which isn't even near a pilot."
Me: (I think she said pilot... I don't know the jargon, so it could have been a different word.) "Uh-huh." ( I say this in a very intelligent voice.)

The conversation continued much like that, while I tried to stealthily hide that I had no idea what she was talking about most of the time.

Well anyway, the search continues. Maybe the next phone conversation will go something like this:
Person: "Do you know how much you'll be requiring?"
Me: "Well nowhere near a full load volume. Probably closer to 500 pounds per day." Witty laugh.

Oh, produce jargon jokes. Man, I'm getting better at faking that I know what I'm talking about. Now if I could only find Mr. Right Farm. (Or Mrs. Right Farm...)

Even when there is no confusing jargon, my jokes are bad.

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